This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize