But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
