Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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