So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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