There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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