ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
