Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
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I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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