Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
