and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
