and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize