We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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