i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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