is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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