Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
