No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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