tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
