chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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