so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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