I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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