Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
