Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
