White coat. Heels.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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