Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize