So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
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