U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
