You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
