he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I am spending my child support on dildos
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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