We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
