i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
