i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
