what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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