You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
