Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
