i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize