I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I look better un-naked...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
