Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
