I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
