Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
