I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I would fuck him just for his dog
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
