I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
