im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
