You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Randomize
