They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
