your thong is hanging out like whoa
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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