And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
