R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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