A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
