Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you win again, gameday.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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