the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It's no shave November. This is our time.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
