did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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