i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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