Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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