I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
