Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
