There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She bit a glass in half.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Randomize
