so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
