I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
