allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
That's how pantless uber rides happen
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
