When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
