the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
