I hate your face
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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