So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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