i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
