So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
