Where is the hickey?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
