threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize