we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
FUCK WHALES
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
