Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
