I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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