is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Pooping to opera.
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