You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just blew my weed a kiss
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
